Many people struggle with the idea of right and wrong. How you should live, what is considered a "sin." This gets especially complicated when the Bible is brought into it.
In the Christian religion, the Bible dictates what is right and wrong. Many people who are anti-gay use passages like Leviticus 18:22 and Corinthians 6: 9-10 to combat gay activists. But the Bible also says other ridiculous things like men should not trim their side burns (Leviticus 19:27) and we shouldn't eat pigs or rabbits but we are allowed to eat crickets and grasshoppers (Leviticus 11:4-7 and 20-22). Many people who are both Christian and gay, struggle with the Bible's dictations throughout their life. As both a lesbian, and someone raised Methodist, I have come to conflict with the Bible on a few occasions, and am constantly battered with its verses by my father. As a person, a woman just trying to figure life out, I am utterly confused by the daunting prospects of right and wrong.
I was arguing with my father one day about how gays are just people and they love the same sex the same way heterosexuals love the opposite sex and he had a very good point.
Yes, we should love one another regardless, but we were made to procreate with the opposite sex and we should choose to be with and marry the opposite sex.
Many gays argue their attraction to the same sex is natural and they are made that way. I know my attraction to women is not a choice, but me decision to peruse the attraction and to be with a woman is my choice.
So my battle with myself begins; would I be happy with someone of the opposite sex? Is it right for me to be with someone of the same sex?
The lines to right and wrong are awfully blurry, but I hope someday I will be able to clarify them enough to find peace with myself and the partner I choose.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Too Many Fish in the Sea
As I said in my previous post, being gay, I have often felt like I was the last of an extinct species. An attractive girl will catch my eye, someone who makes my stomach chrysalises sprout their butterflies, and moments later her boyfriend will walk up and my butterflies will drop dead as if someone has sprayed insecticide.This often happens and though I still hold an admiration and attraction to the girl, I know I would never stand a chance.
But what about the attractive girls who don't have boyfriends walking beside them? I can't exactly assume they are gay, but assuming they are straight leaves me to take no chances. Assuming neither only leaves me uncertain, not sure how to proceed.
How am I to find someone who would even have a slight possibility of being interested in me when they are camouflaged in the sea of "fish". Along with normal fears of being rejected, comes fears of offending and putting yourself in harms way by admitting your sexuality.
So how can gay people find dates without exhausting their network of friends? Personally, I display that aspect of myself in a necklace, unfortunately not always visible, and occasionally wear other pride-wear such as a rainbow-studded belt and a carefully arranged collection of colored bracelets.
The gay's fight for civil rights is often compared to black people's fight for civil rights, but this is one detail they didn't have to go through. The fear of asking won't fade, I think, for at least a few more decades. Even in finding other gay people, you suspicions may not always be true, and there will, at least for a while, be that fear holding you back when you really want to ask "are you gay?"
But what about the attractive girls who don't have boyfriends walking beside them? I can't exactly assume they are gay, but assuming they are straight leaves me to take no chances. Assuming neither only leaves me uncertain, not sure how to proceed.
How am I to find someone who would even have a slight possibility of being interested in me when they are camouflaged in the sea of "fish". Along with normal fears of being rejected, comes fears of offending and putting yourself in harms way by admitting your sexuality.
So how can gay people find dates without exhausting their network of friends? Personally, I display that aspect of myself in a necklace, unfortunately not always visible, and occasionally wear other pride-wear such as a rainbow-studded belt and a carefully arranged collection of colored bracelets.
The gay's fight for civil rights is often compared to black people's fight for civil rights, but this is one detail they didn't have to go through. The fear of asking won't fade, I think, for at least a few more decades. Even in finding other gay people, you suspicions may not always be true, and there will, at least for a while, be that fear holding you back when you really want to ask "are you gay?"
Are You Listeneing to the Word, or the Meaning?
I know this is only slightly related to my topic, but I have been wanting to make this point for a very long time.
I don't like how people get offended by the word "gay". In my opinion, it is just a word. And not only is it jsut a word, but it has not always meant "homosexual" in fact, homosexual is the fourth entry for gay in the merrium-webster dictionary. Before homosexual, comes happily excited, bright in color, and given to social pleasures.
My point is, just by saying "that's so gay" you are not meaning whatever you are talking about is homosexual, nor are you meaning it is happy, or bright in color. Many words have changed thier meaning over the centuries, and it is not the word that makes the difference, it is the meaning.
Am I saying people should not get offended if someone calls them gay or a fag? No. I am saying look for what the person means. If they mean to insult you and are throwing words as weapons, you have every right to be angry. But if someone is in casual conversation with friends and mentions that something is "gay" they mean it is stupid, or booring or not a good idea. they are not trying to say gays are dumb, stupid, or booring, just as calling someone gay is not meaning they are neccesarily happy, colorful, or given to social pleasures.
In fact, that brings me to a whole, other rant.
Why are people ok with Gay being used to mean happy, but not for gay to be used as stupid? We are ok with stereotyping gays as being happy, but not with them being dumb?
Gay people are just that--people. Not always happy, not always stupid, not always colorful, or given to social pleasures.
They are just people, like everyone else.
I don't like how people get offended by the word "gay". In my opinion, it is just a word. And not only is it jsut a word, but it has not always meant "homosexual" in fact, homosexual is the fourth entry for gay in the merrium-webster dictionary. Before homosexual, comes happily excited, bright in color, and given to social pleasures.
My point is, just by saying "that's so gay" you are not meaning whatever you are talking about is homosexual, nor are you meaning it is happy, or bright in color. Many words have changed thier meaning over the centuries, and it is not the word that makes the difference, it is the meaning.
Am I saying people should not get offended if someone calls them gay or a fag? No. I am saying look for what the person means. If they mean to insult you and are throwing words as weapons, you have every right to be angry. But if someone is in casual conversation with friends and mentions that something is "gay" they mean it is stupid, or booring or not a good idea. they are not trying to say gays are dumb, stupid, or booring, just as calling someone gay is not meaning they are neccesarily happy, colorful, or given to social pleasures.
In fact, that brings me to a whole, other rant.
Why are people ok with Gay being used to mean happy, but not for gay to be used as stupid? We are ok with stereotyping gays as being happy, but not with them being dumb?
Gay people are just that--people. Not always happy, not always stupid, not always colorful, or given to social pleasures.
They are just people, like everyone else.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Outlook Hazy, Try Again Later
D’you every feel like your future is determined by a magic eight ball or a paper fortune teller? Sometimes it seems to me as is our country is like that, changing it’s laws on a whim—a shake of the eight ball of a flip of a paper flap. I definitely felt that way when I heard about Proposition 8, I mean come on now, California is the gayest state in the country. In addition to that, the California Supreme court had just ruled denying gay marriage unconstitutional on May 15th 2008.
The pioneers of the gay rights movement would be very disappointed, I think.
But it’s not just about the gay rights movement; it’s about all of us as people, our hopes and dreams and aspirations. Do gays not deserve the right to marry someone they love and have a prosperous family? What are we as a country saying about gays when we constantly flip-flop about the issues and often conclude to withhold rights?
I believe we sent out the very same message when we fought over black rights. Even today the south holds a stigma of thinking of blacks as less of a person than whites. I was under the impression our country wanted to be known as a country that gives freedom to all, a country where all are equal and anyone is welcome. Not a country that decides everyone's fate on a whim.
This video was e-mailed to me by my Equality Club(Gay-straight alliance) Advisor
Its pretty damn funny!
The pioneers of the gay rights movement would be very disappointed, I think.
But it’s not just about the gay rights movement; it’s about all of us as people, our hopes and dreams and aspirations. Do gays not deserve the right to marry someone they love and have a prosperous family? What are we as a country saying about gays when we constantly flip-flop about the issues and often conclude to withhold rights?
I believe we sent out the very same message when we fought over black rights. Even today the south holds a stigma of thinking of blacks as less of a person than whites. I was under the impression our country wanted to be known as a country that gives freedom to all, a country where all are equal and anyone is welcome. Not a country that decides everyone's fate on a whim.
This video was e-mailed to me by my Equality Club(Gay-straight alliance) Advisor
Its pretty damn funny!
See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Information Anyone?
Basic human connection. That is what most human beings look for more than anything else. Yet how is it that we struggle so much when asked to give it? What I'm talking about is sympathy, empathy and simple understanding.
I remember a couple of years ago when I was just discovering myself and my sexuality and I felt I must be the only person who feels that way. Upon mentioning this concern to a school social worker, I was presented with a plethora of pamphlets, titled “I think I might be Gay,” “resources for young people” and “answers to your questions about sexual orientation and homosexuality.”
Not knowing what else to do, I took home more than a dozen intimidating packets of information and haven’t looked at them since. (In fact, I’m sure they’ve been made into something more useful by now, like construction paper.)
At the time I was confused by a swarm of emotions, but as I look back, I realize why I felt even more hopeless after being handed the stack of “resources.”
I was never looking for websites to tell me percentages and facts about lesbians or a phone book of hotlines to call, just incase I’d gone suicidal. I was looking for that basic human connection. Someone to say, “I’m going through the same thing.” Or “I feel that way about guys all the time,” or even, “Yeah, I think my neighbors are lesbians.” To have someone identify with you, honestly compare themselves and feel there is some similarity to you, is a feeling most human beings yearn for. In this world of masses of information, it is just so much easier to lay out a buffet of alphabet soup.
Is it too much to ask of people to genuinely reply and connect to an individual seeking “information?” After all, we are the same species.
I remember a couple of years ago when I was just discovering myself and my sexuality and I felt I must be the only person who feels that way. Upon mentioning this concern to a school social worker, I was presented with a plethora of pamphlets, titled “I think I might be Gay,” “resources for young people” and “answers to your questions about sexual orientation and homosexuality.”
Not knowing what else to do, I took home more than a dozen intimidating packets of information and haven’t looked at them since. (In fact, I’m sure they’ve been made into something more useful by now, like construction paper.)
At the time I was confused by a swarm of emotions, but as I look back, I realize why I felt even more hopeless after being handed the stack of “resources.”
I was never looking for websites to tell me percentages and facts about lesbians or a phone book of hotlines to call, just incase I’d gone suicidal. I was looking for that basic human connection. Someone to say, “I’m going through the same thing.” Or “I feel that way about guys all the time,” or even, “Yeah, I think my neighbors are lesbians.” To have someone identify with you, honestly compare themselves and feel there is some similarity to you, is a feeling most human beings yearn for. In this world of masses of information, it is just so much easier to lay out a buffet of alphabet soup.
Is it too much to ask of people to genuinely reply and connect to an individual seeking “information?” After all, we are the same species.
Publicaly Personal
I know a lot of people think that your sexuality is a very personal issue, and well, it is, but personally, I am not afraid to answer questions, and dispell or prove myths. I know I can't change the world in a day, but I don't want people to think that being gay is weird or abnormal. I want people to be as informed about homosexuality as they are about thier own sexuality.
An impossible wish, I know, but I can help by being open and unafraid of awkward questions or situations. Hopefully someday, talking about gay issues or people wont be taboo or even uncomfortable.
So for people who know me, or have even just met me, I just want you to know that I am not easily offended, very open minded, and always willing to hear your point of view.
An impossible wish, I know, but I can help by being open and unafraid of awkward questions or situations. Hopefully someday, talking about gay issues or people wont be taboo or even uncomfortable.
So for people who know me, or have even just met me, I just want you to know that I am not easily offended, very open minded, and always willing to hear your point of view.
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